Not very consistent

I knew this would happen.

I find it hard to keep consistent with things in all aspects of my life. I have great ideas and then, after a while I get distracted and boom, it's not happening.

Except I spose my girls, I have to be consistent with them.

Jasmine has been sick with a virus for the last week. She really really regressed. Walking was very difficult for her and she lost all her words and went back to screaming and crying for everything. I found it very draining and I did lose my patience with her I must admit.

I kept Ella home from Kinder too, as the teacher suggested that she may start vomitting as well. Which she didn't. It is a tricky one with twins. Ella was as bright as a button and wanted to go 'by herself " which to me was a big thing as she is very protective of Jasmine and rarely wants to be without her.

I felt a bit annoyed because mothers often walk in with their sick babies or toddlers, but they can hide it.

Anyway, I would have been mortified if Ella had of started spewing at kinder, so I guess it's was the right thing to do.

I am, like most SN mummies dreading winter, asthma and hospital admissions for Jasmine hopefully will be few, but you never know and I have paid so much money for kinder, I wont keep Ella home each time.

So, I wrote on facebook that Jasmine started talking again last night and she said " i did a great big enormous turnip " in the toilet. I was flabbergasted as she has not been speaking and then to quote a Play School story really was funny.

Lets hope I can get back on track, and post some photos soon of our new AFO's and our rows and rows of shoes.

Speak soon
Mandy

Deep Breath

Okay

So, the deed is done, 2x new AFO's for Jasmine and Ella.

They are a new pattern, which is proving to be difficult to explain as we are all still calling them our " butterfly shoes "

DH knows how anxious I get when it comes to shoe shopping for the girls, so we decided to go together, with chuppa chups in hand and get the girls fitted.

Previously I have been to a wonderful shoe shop with a great assistant, so we went back there.

I already had the sweats looking around and seeing all these beautiful shoes that I knew wouldn't fit us, but i decided to try and be brave and open minded.

The lady looked at us with a face that screamed " what the hell am I going to do with these"

She suggested some boys shoes that would fit the girls, which made me pick up the girls ( they are heavy ) and storm out of the shop bawling my eyes out.

DH trying to calm me down, stop me from making a scene.

Anyway, I calmed down and realised that the best way for me to do this, is to go to the shops by myself and shove AFO's in the shoes without the girls around.

So last night I spent 3 hours at Knox City going from shop to shop and finding matching 7 & 9's for Jasmine and 9 & 11's for Ella.

I did it.

I got sneakers, slip ons, boots and gumboots.

I spent hours in K mart and I heard " security to shoe section " when a nice, but very obvious young boy says " can I help you"

I said to him, sitting on the floor with piles of shoes and 2 AFO's around me " I am not stealing anything, I am just trying to find shoes for my daughters orthotics. He just slithered away and I thought, " come and get me security I will let you have it "

Anyway, the girls were very excited this morning to have new shoes to choose from and especially little black 'party' shoes that they have been wanting for a while.

I called up my OT and have proposed a 'shoe bazaar' for the other mums of little girls with hemi's as I have so many matching pairs of odd shoes I can't just let them sit in my cupboard.

I will get around to taking photos, and post them here.

So, there you have it, trying to find shoes, is done and dusted until summer when I start the search again.

Speak soon
Mandy

Last day of butterfly shoes

Yes,

Thats right, today is our last day with our year old butterfly shoes.

Tomorrow we are getting 'our' new AFO's. The girls chose ( with some help from me I admit ) a new pattern of girls, rabbits, handbags and cats and it is in a pink colour.

When David, the orthotist showed me he said that he had searched the world to find more girls patterns as the butterflies had been the only ones.

So today, is the last day I squeeze their feet into these things and then shove their shoes that are nearly destroyed on.

I am (almost ) excited about all the new shoes/boots we are going to be able to buy this week as we have been waiting for these new AFO's and the casting to be over and done with.

What is it like to just buy shoes for your kids whenever you like I wonder????

I have come a long way, I used to go into shoe shops and have a flat out panic attack cause I couldn't buy what I wanted for them, so I am now equipped, I have found the right shop with the helpful assistant and I am going to give the girls a giant lollypop each that I have saved from a birthday party.

Hopefully we are able to buy 1 size for each with some inserts, instead of buying 4 pairs of shoes and then having different sizes on each foot. That does my head in.

And really, maybe I just might keep the AFO' off today anyway as the girls are complaining that they are hurting. I just have to remove my guilt that not wearing them for one day wont really make that much difference..

Speak soon
Mandy

Friday

Good morning

I love Fridays and I especially love this one cause tomorrow I am off for an overnight stay with a friend at her family holiday house.

It is a great feeling knowing that I have something to look forward to and even though I love my girls, it is nice to have a little break to refresh.

Today we have J's appointment with the OT, or as we call it, " J is going to see Jenny to do your work with 2 hands "

E is fantastic now at these appointments, we get out some special toys and sit in our own therapy room and play together, I think she loves having mummy all to herself. We can also hear J's talking and being busy in with her therapist.

Apparantly there is a working bee at kinder this afternoon at 4pm! I had no idea until a friend mentioned it, so I will go along and do some more cleaning, what a joy, but I need to get my money back as I had to pay x2 working bee levy's as well as fundraising. Wouldn't you just have x1 for each family?

DH is restless and keeps looking at houses and wants a "tree change". He loves the bush and so do I, but also love being near my family and my new and old friends. He is talking about if his job is secure then now is a good time to buy a house as interest rates are so low.

One of the reasons that we are probably both restless is that the school we live opposite has A LOT of stairs. I have never seen a school with so many stairs. We bought the house expecting that our twins would be going to the school and I would love being involved in the school and community. I spose part of the ongoing grief that things didn't turn out as we expected.

So a tree change, with a flat school and some new friends might just be around the corner, but then again it might not too.

Speak soon
Mandy

Night splints

Hello there,

This morning we had a trip to Monash to have night splints made for E and J's legs. I have been reluctant to go down this path as I do not want anything to interfere with the girls sleep.

After E had a cast on her leg for 3 weeks though and she slept okay, I was 'happy' to do it.

J, has also been wearing her night splint on her arm for a couple of weeks too and that has not caused any drama, so I spose they are getting older and understanding all things splints.

I tried really hard to be positive this morning, getting there on time, smiling and trying to be a patient mummy. It was a lof of effort. Both girls were great and now have these huge things to wear to bed. Both girls legs were stretched and measured and E just said " I'm okay " when they asked how she was.

I am a mixture of proud of how brave/ disinterested they are, and saddened that they are so used to this kind of intervention they don't even blink.

I walked away, slowly with them and decided that I needed some cheer me up food, so we went to the golden arches and had some chips and a climb on the nightmare equipment.

After reading Di's post on climbing through the playground, I decided to sit in the tunnel for the entire 20 minutes so that I could hoist the girls up and then eventually when J ventured further, I had to get in and push her through. I am not as gracious as Di and get annoyed everytime I have to do this stuff and wonder what it would be like to have my twins climb wherever they want, whenever they want.

I think today I am sick of driving to Monash, I am sick of being polite to people who make decisions about my daughters and I am sick of feeling so blah about our lives. There is truly so much to be thankful for.

It's DH birthday today and we are going to the " fat man pasta " restuarant, or more commanly known as La Porchetta's for dinner so not having to cook dinner really is great news in itself.

Maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day.

Speak soon
Mandy

2nd day of blogging

What do you write on your second day of blogging?

Well, this morning a dear friend of mine alerted me to the fact that E and J's favourite celebrity is coming to Eastland for a performance.

I bet you are thinking, the Wiggles, or Hi Five aren't you?

It's the one and only Andre Rieu!!

After a friend told me about her little 3 year old watching Andre with her Nanna, I decided to have a change of DVD scenery and purchased the Andre Christmas DVD. Well, that was a hit.

We have watched it so many times I have lost count and the girls sing along to the angel as well as a group of Japanese children. It is extremely cute. If I could work out how to download a video I would.

E's speech has never been a concern, and she can sing in lovely pitch. J's speech is a work in progress, her muscles in her mouth are affected by her CP, and she is trying really hard to learn new words.

To hear her singing along to Andre has been nothing less than an absolute delight. To go from wondering if she will ever talk, to hear her singing, in her own way is a joy.

I think when you have experienced the lowest lows wondering about your childs development, can you only truly appreciate the high highs. The insignificant things other parents take for granted, I never do.

So May 9th Eastland 1pm, Andre watch out, your biggest, but perhaps littlest in size fans will be eagerly awaiting your performance.

See you soon
Mandy

Hello friends

Hi there,

Welcome and thanks for taking your time to have a read of my blog. I have been thinking of starting a blog for a couple of years now, but have never done anything about it. So, I guess there is a time for everything and now seems to be the right time.

Trying to find shoes, is the name of my blog. I have called it this, because perhaps this is the most superficial part of my girls cerebral palsy that bothers me the most.

Twin 3 year olds, 1 AFO ( ankle foot orthotic ) for Jasmine's right leg and 1 AFO for Ella's left leg. Different sizes and of course different sizes for their respective 'normal' feet. Something so simple for so many is a task that upsets me, frustrates me and reminds me every single day that my girls are different.

Of course, this blog will also talk about all aspects of being a mummy, and I promise that I will share with you honestly.

See you soon.

Mandy